the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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