it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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