Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Holy sore nipples Batman
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
