mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize