alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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