You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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