pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
