i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I just found a bag of teeth...
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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