ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
When did we convert life to cartoon?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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