Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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