He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
