Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
