the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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