"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
