In the future we'll all be gay
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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