...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
