If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
