My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
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