I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
