escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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