i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Is Oprah even human
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
