as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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