i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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