what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
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