physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
