My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
