Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
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