My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
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