I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
