oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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