we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
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