I'm jealous of your bromance
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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