Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
