i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
BRING THE BAGELS
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize