I look better un-naked...
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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