The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
