marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Do vagina's smell?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
