Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
