She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize