I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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