You can't special order awesome
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize