True but thats because hes a fetus.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
