First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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