I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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