i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
