planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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