So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
