there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
