It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
