epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
