I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
