dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I am one with the molecules
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
