I'm drive I can fine osifer
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
