were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
