I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
