I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
