Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
