You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
