i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
